LEAP leap

The New Science for Relationships


Social scientists tell us that relationships have the single greatest impact on shaping who we are and our quality of life. It is, we are taught, the single most important factor in determining human happiness. When we are in love, the deepest desires of our heart are realized. But there are always two sides to a coin, a yin for every yang and therefore it follows that relationships are also responsible for our worst pain.

We can all relate to the pain of love lost. We all know that hopeless feeling that we'll never again know another happy moment in our lives. The results of a broken heart are debilitating and all-encompassing. We often give up, give into the pain and let it control us. Not that we want it to we really don't want to be that miserable but we feel we have no choice. After all we've been taught that relationships are the only thing that can make us complete, that can make us happy. But when relationships are broken, we're at a loss. We just don't know what to do to repair them and trying to cope with the pain and being impervious to any hope for crawling out of the abyss, we let it go. We don't try to fix it. We fear further rejection. It's just too great of a pain to risk going through again.

We have scars but somehow survive but the pain is deeply felt and becomes part of our narrative. It's more complicated when the relationship is a high value one that involves other people like a marriage. Other close relationships like that with a soul mate or a close associate at work who will remain in your life are examples of relationships that are not throwaways and that cannot easily be given up on.

But even though the ending of such important relationships will cause a great upheaval in our lives, we don't know what to do to fix them. So, we move on and hope for the best. But as we walk away, there is an undeniable emptiness deep inside. There is something that is stuck in our heart that we can't dislodge. It's a longing, a nagging voice of regret a part of us the wants the relationship back or at least a second chance to save it. But most of us fear rejection and it's the prospect of trying and then failing again that causes us to continue suppressing that voice. And the result? We shut down emotionally and isolate ourselves from further hurt. We put up barriers and obstacles so we never feel that pain again. But we also deprive ourselves of deep human emotions that only vulnerability and openness can spawn those relationships that you once longed for and that made life exciting and exhilarating.


What is most agonizing for me is that the pain from broken relationships is largely accepted without a fight. At the very moment of break-up, we are already defeated. It's a paradox. With all the knowledge and technological advancements that man has made, we are clueless when it comes to repairing broken relationships. It is inexplicable when you consider that we are able to land a spacecraft on Mars, control it remotely and then dispatch it back to earth with its treasure trove of red rocks yet we cannot mend a broken relationship.

Plastic surgeons are able to tweak our facial features to what society considers perfect. Even complete face transplants are being conducted. All the effort that is placed on our outward appearance seems out of balance when compared to the lack of effort afforded to our emotional pain, particularly for broken relationships since conventional wisdom tell us that the most impactful experiences that we will have are through our relationships. You'd think that with all of man's abilities and talents, he could learn how to fix them. Yet when they get broken, we abandon them. We do more for leaky faucets!


A decade ago, I began to collaborate with the academic community in the field of Life Sciences. I was particularly interested in the social scientist and psychologist whose focus of research was on relationships. My collaborations first led to teaching people on a personal basis as well as through published material about the link that exists between interpersonal relationships and everything that is important to us.

What I learned was fascinating and something I knew I had to share far and wide: life science technologies to fix broken relationships do exist! My frustration was that there was a huge lapse of time between the initial discovery of these technologies and their actual availability to the people who needed them.

My colleagues and I took on the challenge of creating a strategy to help people fix broken relationships as they begin to fracture. On balance, we agreed that no expense could be spared to achieve the highest degree of success in repairing that which is most precious to us all. Ten years of dedication, discovery and determination has resulted in an organization which is now known as Leap.

At Leap, we work toward restoring relationships with a multi-strategy approach. Single strategies, such as hours of weekly therapy or marriage counseling do not yield the proven level of success and progress that is possible through the Leap approach. Whether it's a marriage on the rocks or a business partnership that has seen better days, we don't give up on these high value relationships. We don't think you should either. It is my belief that the Leap's innovative multi-strategy approach for mending broken relationships is the greatest soft technology that exists, bar none. It will make a difference in your life!

Explore and discover more by talking with a LEAP mentor.


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